The effects of Spade on our psychie- an analysis by May~Bun

Hello, as many of you *May* know, im apart of the Suki system, im May. Hi. And "Suki" as a whole. Well lets say Spade left nothing good behind on our already messed up brain..thats the most general statement, but fuck it, lets break down the effects of what they have done and caused to our system.

1. The word "Spade"- now his namesake Spade. If I see tht word like written out.. more specifically unexpectedly, we seem to freeze up, Cal and Emily have both atested to that. Mostly just the word, verbally it also happens but it seems less severe

2. Fear of old messages- were now afraid of going back at all in the VIES discord server by the chance we scroll to far back and get to a Spade message on accident.

3. Freeze up- this is a new experience from more recently. I unexpectedly found an old message from Spade (one if him complimenting me just for reference T ^ T )  and we froze up and ended up violently shaking, we ended up dropping our phone too and my roommate found us frozen up before leaving for work. 

4. Fear of people getting bored of us- now this was already here before Spade, but I fear its amplified now. This fear came before we figured out how bad Spade was. I was scared of a person who I cared about getting bired of me and dropping me. And with him gaslighting us with, "you hate me" helped that fear none. 

Now in hindsight I feel like a dumbass, not only for trusting Spade, but also for this being the reaction to what happened..

anywayy, bye
-May~Bun

-(P.S. did you see the pun?)

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